Thursday, August 20, 2009

To whom it may concern:


Guilt! oh dire guilt!

Why, you ask?

Because I have gained many times over the followers on my blog in the last few months and I have been the poorest of hosts, ushering in the newcomers not with abundant, glorious reviews and blogs, but with deafening silence.... oh woe is me, and all that other dramatic stuff.

So, to newcomers, welcome. Excuse my lack of postings.

I would like to say my summer hiatus was due to me being incredibly busy, but I could only say that if you define this as busy.

Alright, with my readers as witness, I hear-by usher in the school year with a proclamation: I will be more vigilant concerning the frequency of blog posts.

You may now begin taking bets on how long it will be before I break that proclamation. I will join the one week pool...

But seriously, I will try to be better.

Ok so, on the agenda today:
My summer
Upcoming Blogs

Let us begin.

Since I last posted, a number of things have happened in my life, most importantly, I have acquired a new place of employment. Yep, Adam got a job. So guess where... Amusement park? Stand-up Comedian? Manager at a publishing company? Nope. At a small business known as the Water Store.
Yes, I sell water. I know, I know, you're laughing. Selling water is kind of like selling air, but hey, people sell politics, and thats just hot air, so give the job some credit. And actually, it is a good job, $9 and hour, part time, and flexible hours, I can't complain. But of course, complain is what I am going to do, because “My life is happy!” just isn't interesting to read about.

The main perks of the water store are: free water, and ... more free water. Although one unofficial perk is the customers, I probably would never get a chance to meet so many funny people, without working there. And by funny I don't mean Saturday night live funny (back when it actually was still funny), I mean funny looking, and funny I'm-laughing-at-you-not-with-you funny. For example, yesterday I had a woman come in and ask me if distilled water was sufficiently spiritual to add Chi to. She then proceeded to tell me about Guru Michael, who infuses water with the essence of his Chi, bringing out its inner energy to cure everything from pimples to diabetes. I informed her that distilled water is the most spiritual water I know of. Then I had an elderly gentleman later who decided that I was the perfect candidate to listen while he spent two hours explaining how the Obama health care plan was going to pay doctors to kill elderly people, and that next time he went to the doctor's he would be armed. I don't care where you stand on health care reform, a concept like that is either out of bad Sci-fi or worse comedy. Finally, the coup-de-grace, was today, a bearded man came in inquiring about storage bottles for a filtration system, and while that is not unusual, his eyes watching an invisible game of tennis the entire time we were talking, was. On top of that, he mentioned half-way through our discussion that he lived in the countryside was surprised “We at the complex” had not installed a second system because that way “We could have one for the kitchen and one for the... other place.” My inner horror movie character was screaming “CULT! DON'T DRINK THE COOL-AID!”

So at least I find my job entertaining.

The other new news in my life is about school: I am now officially in school (my second day of class is tomorrow), taking math at a college 60 miles from where I live, because of an issue with the assessment at the college 12 miles away, where I am taking the rest of my classes so I can transfer to a college 1 mile away. Geography is obviously not my major.

So if a train traveling 45 miles per hour leaves the first college, and another train leaves the third college, traveling 59 miles per hour, how long will it take for math to drive me insane?

Don't answer that.

Alright, it is growing late, so the next two agenda points will have to be cut short.

The reason it is growing late is that Genevieve and I are going tomorrow to see Robyn Schneider, our lovely author friend from BEA (which I still haven't talked about). Robyn, is in a word: awesome. So, look forward to a blog that is all about Robyn and how she is Robyntastic, and Robyniffic, and ... what? Ok, fine, I'll stop.

And that leads us into (drumroll) UPCOMING BLOGS (dum dum dum).

Ok, so we have upcoming,
A blog in which I finally say something about BEA.
A blog in which I review the book The Law of Nines which I am tremendously excited about, because I just got it today, and it is by my favorite author, Terry Goodkind (the guy whose series I reviewed and gave 5 stars), and it is signed!
Blogs in which I review the books "Going Bovine", by Libba Bray, "Fire", by Kristen Cashore, "Catching Fire" and "Hunger Games" both by Suzanne Collins, "Leviathan" by Scott Westerfeld, "Girl in the Arena" by Lise Haines, and others.
Blogs in which I review video games.
Blogs in which I review the movies.
Blogs in which I review the TV shows.
Some more poetry, though I doubt, every week.

I think that sets me up for blogs for quite some time, now all I have to do is write them...

Alright, time for bed.

Until next I write.


  1. OMG!! I would FALL over laughing if I worked at the water store. I am in grad school and currently work at a small carpet cleaning company. BORING! Too make it worse.. the internet is the slowest EVER. So I can't even blog!!

    Congrats on the new Terry Goodkind *seething with jealousy*! Definitely can't wait to read your review!

  2. I am laughing my ass off. The spelling out of LMAO was necessary! Thanks for my dose of Adam, I have been needing some Adam-funnies since NYC.
    Also, I think it's my name that the feature in the textbook for the train wordproblem: "Korianne boards one train. Her sanity boards the other. How long will it take the two to reach each other if going at the speed of crazy?"

  3. So where will the official contest results be posted?

    You certainly meet interesting people! At least they give you good stories to use at dinner parties, hah.

    Robyn Schneider? I read her book, Better Than Yesterday and really liked it! Ask her if she'll write a sequel for me, pleeeease @___@

  4. I just had to say that I didn't even know that a water store existed -- but it would be an amusing place to work on several levels :-) I've been having a rough week and your post made for a much needed laugh -- thanks!